Memoire

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Three young teens passed by my table as I sat silently chewing a piece of burger in my mouth. Then two middle-aged men with smile on their faces followed them and have them all seated around 3 tables placed side by side.

This sight created a lump on my throat and tears easily welled in my eyes. It made me recall of my green days in college. It was a moment of struggle if I can go for further studies after highschool or not due to financial difficulties in the family. That was when I thought, will I ever get to college?

God opened a window for a light to shine through my clouded faith. I did not know him personally, except for one thing; he has the heart to help me. Mario ‘Bobby’ Heriales’ walked into my life.

Kuya Bobby, as I casually call him, was a publisher of then Silangan Shimbun in Japan. He was also one of the main providers of calling prepaid cards which were readily available to his Pinoy kababayans overseas, mainly in Japan, where he found a living.

A heart to help and a drive for education, those were his tools to keep on reaching his dreams. Those same forces moved him to sponsor students in their studies.

I was blessed enough to be chosen as one ofhis scholars. I remember that day of desperation. The scholars’ slots were all taken. The only way I could thought of was to personally talk to him via distant phone call and plead of him.

If for him that was a chance to take; but, for me, it was the last option left. God must have seen the sincerity of my heart. In four years, he patiently sustained me and alleviated the burden of my family. He took the load of paying for my tuition fees with a promise that I should do my best in school. I did my part, just as he hoped, and finished college with flying colors on common Alma Mater.

Philantrophs around us are a gift from God. Though some of them opt to remain unheard, the evidence of their hard work shouts out. Every brimming smile that a person returns after successfully getting through the expected course with another’s help is a simple note that the sweat paid off. How much more when the tangible help reached their personal life in the future?

This philantroph heart, I should say, is contagious. I believe that I, too, am on my way to passing this good gift forward. Forever I will thank Kuya Bobby for being there when the going for me got tough.

Beyond what the Eyes Can See

Beautiful spots of colors in lieu of seeing the exact scene, that’s how I view things with my naked eyes.

It’s 19 years ago since I last enjoyed looking at the vivid beauty of everything around me- the trees, mountains, and playmates and the colored books I had. Yes, that was a long time ago, and counting back, I miss the sight of things back then even more.

Like any other preschooler, play was the best activity in class, but my style of learning was something that set me apart from others. While the teacher speaks in front, I was done working on the exercises in the Activity Book- connecting dots, coloring pictures and matching same objects. The blackboard was not my friend. When I brought the book home, mom was upset at me and told my teacher about it. After being reprimanded, I thought what I did was wrong. So from then on, I tried looking at the board and pinned my eyes on my teacher’s face as her lips twitched when she talked.

I was a bashful girl on my first year in grade school. I preferred sitting at the last row so I won’t get anyone’s attention when I laugh since I sounded like a goat, my older sister said. But, when the teacher asked us to copy something on the board, I had to run to the front row ‘almost kissing the board,’ my classmates said. My Grade 1 teacher was the first to notice my eye handicap. I was diagnosed with severe myopia with astigmatism. Mine was a congenital defect.

Myopia, in simple term is ‘nearsightedness.’ It is a condition of the eye where the light that comes in does not directly focus on the retina but in front of it. This causes the image that one sees when looking at a distant object to be out of focus but in focus when looking at a close object.

Before I was enrolled to second grade, I experienced frequent dimming of sight, nausea and an unexplained blurring of vision. The pathways seemed embossed and I end up stumbling frequently on my knees. At that time I knew something was wrong with me. Since then, I wore thick spectacles which was a subject of ridicule while I reach my teen years.

I find it funny when new acquaintances notice me because I’m wearing thick eye glasses which seems odd for my age. Are my spectacles more interesting than my face? Oh…it makes me sad. Aside from looking mature, people identify me as coming from a Chinese descent since my eyes look smaller than it is. The downside was, I was restricted to join active sports for my protection and deprived myself from swimming since I don’t enjoy the view without my glasses on (except you like to see everything wet). I can’t copy my seatmate’s answer when everybody in the class cheats to pass a difficult exam in Calculus. I can’t enjoy the view of the stars at night or the planes and chutes in daytime, nor recognize a campus crush coming my way while my girl friends giggle behind me.

Yet, I’ve learned to cope up with my weakness. I’ve learned not to depend on cheating to get a good grade and graduate with flying colors. I learned to be casual and calm when a crush passes by me. I learned to exercise proper body mechanics so as not to tire my eyes too much when looking into something. I’ve learned to appreciate close-up shots of the galaxies and every detail in nature. I’ve learned, and still learning, to value the things beyond what my naked eyes can see. As the saying goes, “the best things in life are those that are not seen with the naked eyes.” I’ve learned to be content of what I am and what I’m not.

Everyday, I face the challenge of living not too different from people with normal eyes do. But I’ve promised to myself not to waste any opportunity to enhance the talents my Creator gave me, or He’ll take those little pieces away. I believe that the latest applied science thru laser can be a cure to my eye defect, and wearing contact lenses is an option. Yet, saving what’s left with my vision is the best thing I can do to enjoy life and live it to the fullest.